I haven’t written here for a while, as the autumn was a flurry of settling in to a new life, plus time for relaxing and breathing deeply. I ended the last post talking about “courage of the heart,” and this definitely has been a time to feel that. It has been a time of deepening the relationship. (I was surprised and pleased to see that George Eliot, aka Marian Evans, used this very word, “deepening,” to talk about her relationship with George Henry Lewes when they began living together in the 1850’s — cited in Rebecca Mead’s excellent book, My Life in Middlemarch, published in 2015.). We have been learning to work out the details of life: cooking together — which is fun, creative, and nourishing — as well as making the bed and taking out the garbage, doing home repairs, coordinating schedules, listening to music, enjoying time together in ongoing conversation or companionable silence, and time for each of to “do our own thing.” In my case, I have felt my writing take on new directions. And, for both of us, the change from a from a commuting relationship to living together has deepened, heightened, and grounded our intimacy. We have also been learning more about each other’s lives, from childhood on, and dealing with a few health challenges — our own and those of friends around us. And, I am getting to know more people in the Oak Street co-op, where I am now a member, and spending time, especially over the holidays, with each other’s family and friends, extending and our circle of closeness. Now, as the new year begins and light returns — there is time to reflect. Light and darkness — and returning light.
There is also the awareness of aging. I began these thoughts on moving, several months ago, with a comparison of moving and childbirth, and now again I am reminded of how time slowed and expanded during the first months of my son’s life, when he and I spend much time alone together. Living with a loved partner at this time of life, our 70’s, time as also slowed down — fewer obligations, and often less energy — but an awareness of the joy and meaning of each moment.
May the year unfold well….